Collins Quarter

Is anyone else noticing a pattern? Why are all the coffee shops I go to on corners? Well, The Collins Quarter Bar follows suit, balancing between Oglethorpe and Bull streets. The upscale restaurant and coffee bar sports read leather booths, marble table tops and modern tableware. Typically, Collins Quarter will host a quiet, acoustic band, but today my drink was only accompanied by the radio's Motown.

I, happy to have on my coziest sweater, am seated outside in Savannah's harsh winter winds--harsh winter winds meaning 60 degrees, sun and a faint breeze every now and again. The wooden chair has a squishy leather cushion my butt grows fond of and I'm promptly given a glass of cool water, no ice--European style. But unfortunate to report, this was the only swift moment of my service.

The waiters are nice, polite. Yes, of course. Although mine seems to be the least friendly. I'll tip 20%, as always, but the service is putting me to sleep--literally, I can't stay awake without caffeine and if you don't give me my caffeine in an orderly fashion, I'll fall asleep at the table. I don't mean to be rude, I'm just an addict.

To sum up, I'm bummed with how slow it takes to make my Aussie Iced Coffee, a specialty coffee not mentioned on the website, so when my waitress places it on my table, my eyes widen and my heart flutters like I'm going on a first date with the popular guy who drives a really cool car.

My Aussie Iced Coffee. A vanilla milkshake with a shot of espresso. If there's anything I love almost as much as coffee, it's ice cream.

The first few sips are bewitching.

But then, my super cute, aesthetically pleasing, 50s-diner-wannabe red and white paper straw separates. It's tragic. The red peels away from the white making it impossible to slurp up my coffee-infused milkshake. Don't worry though, one shot of espresso was barely enough to qualify this drink as caffeinated. The barista could've added two more shots to the dairy byproduct and then I would've been more satisfied.

So I use my straw as a spoon to scoop up my whipped cream and then give up.

I sample the Spiced Lavender Mocha, too, priced at $5. I'm not the biggest fan of lavender in drinks--don't ask me why, I can't tell you. I love the smell of lavender, I love the idea of lavender in drinks, I love the color of lavender. But I hate the taste of lavender. But luckily, this drink isn't overwhelming. There's a hint of lavender and the chocolate of the mocha is rich but not overpowering.

Ironically, the best part about Collins Quarter was getting the check. 30 pages into a ratty, old copy of Shakespeare's "The Merry Wives for Windsor," edited by George Van Stantvoord, sat my bill. And I had to thumb through previous customers' notes. I couldn't help myself, but I'm glad Suzy G. from Texas thought her food was excellent.

(Side note: I'm not one of those people who will point out a minor mistake in her bill, but the Aussie Iced Tea was priced at $5 on the menu and I was charged $5.50 so the total with tax came to $5.89. The Spiced Lavender Mocha was rung up correctly--$5 before taxes.)

So in the end, what you pay for at Collins Quarter is the pleasing aesthetic. If you want the perfect background for your Instagrams, you've found your place. If you want more than mediocre coffee, however, you're welcome to tag along when I brave the next coffee shop Savannah drops me in.

Monday: 6:30AM-5PM (coffee), 8AM-3PM (brunch)
Tuesday: 6:30AM-12:00AM (coffee window)
Wednesday-Sunday: 6:30AM-8PM (coffee), 8AM-3PM (brunch), 5:30-10PM (dinner)